Thursday, October 1, 2009

If only (revised) The End

The wedding was just how I pictured it. Not too fancy. I carried a bouquet of dasies down the aisle. The main color was yellow with green accents. It wasn't in Japan but that's how I saw it; bright green dewy grass sparkling in the sun, cherry tree blossoms blowing in the wind. Everyone I ever knew was there; Jane, mom, dad, Ivan, Bryce (of course), everyone was there. It was the middle of May.
I closed my eyes and instead of black I saw the brightest white. Like the color white Jesus wore when he ascended into heaven. I whispered, "It's okay,"back to Earth. Then I let go.
If only I had known what was going to happen. If only a certain man didn't forget his coat. If only a certain lady got decaf instead of waiting in line for some regular to brew. Or maybe if the wind hadn't stolen a child's balloon as he walked across the street. If only a wife hadn't checked a text she got from her husband in Iraq while driving. If only I didn't walk out the door to see what happened. Or, maybe if I didn't even wake up at all that morning. I could've known that the man who forgot his coat was an ambulance driver, and the woman who waited for her coffee was a nurse, and the boy who lost his balloon was about to get hit by the wife checking a text from her husband in the army while driving, this wouldn't have happened. But then, if it didn't happen, even though I died, I wouldn't have lived.

1 comment:

  1. Lauren,

    Oh, my...I just got done reading about Bryce & you?...the what if's blog was so cool & I just sat and cried when I read the blog where the doc came & said, 'You only have one day to live.", I'm excited to read your stuff - very, very good (And I'm not biased!)