Sunday, October 11, 2009

English 9 journal entries

I know the title sounds really boring so I'll try to make the content a bit more exciting. So, here goes it... for my english class my teacher (Mrs. Pierce) and the student teacher (Ms. Flynn) are having us (the class) write two paragraphs (not too hard) including: correct punctuation etc., four vocabulary words (with definition and parts of speech), and we have to follow a prompt.

Here's what I wrote the first week (don't worry I'll get the others in sometime soon... I hope)

Here's the words: Cacophony, Raucous, Antiphon, and Resonating

And here's the prompt: The concert was so awesome . . .

if you enjoy watching an entire auditorium's capture by German Nazis. It started with a cacophony of raucous German voices causing noise and panic. Still the symohiny played on, their glorious antiphon resonating in peacefulness. A piercing scream shattered the air as a young, helpless oboeist was snatched from his seat and beaten unjustly.

What justifies the fact that you should/ can hurt a person in any way merely because their hair is brown, or maybe their skin is darker or lighter, or they dress in awkward clothes, or they maybe talk funny? What would the world be like if Herr Adolf Hitler were a blind man? What yould it be like to see through the eyes of one without vision.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Hi everyone!!!

Hey!!! I just noticed this (I know I'm a little slow) but I probably should've put the beginning of my story on this blog but, you all know, I'm pretty lazy so if you want to see the beginning of "If Only" it's at www.mustangwritingcamp.blogspot.com sorry about the typos I had to type pretty fast. You kinda need to read the beginning before you read the rest of the story because it might get pretty confusing. Please comment! Hope you like it!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

If only (revised) The End

***
The wedding was just how I pictured it. Not too fancy. I carried a bouquet of dasies down the aisle. The main color was yellow with green accents. It wasn't in Japan but that's how I saw it; bright green dewy grass sparkling in the sun, cherry tree blossoms blowing in the wind. Everyone I ever knew was there; Jane, mom, dad, Ivan, Bryce (of course), everyone was there. It was the middle of May.
I closed my eyes and instead of black I saw the brightest white. Like the color white Jesus wore when he ascended into heaven. I whispered, "It's okay,"back to Earth. Then I let go.
If only I had known what was going to happen. If only a certain man didn't forget his coat. If only a certain lady got decaf instead of waiting in line for some regular to brew. Or maybe if the wind hadn't stolen a child's balloon as he walked across the street. If only a wife hadn't checked a text she got from her husband in Iraq while driving. If only I didn't walk out the door to see what happened. Or, maybe if I didn't even wake up at all that morning. I could've known that the man who forgot his coat was an ambulance driver, and the woman who waited for her coffee was a nurse, and the boy who lost his balloon was about to get hit by the wife checking a text from her husband in the army while driving, this wouldn't have happened. But then, if it didn't happen, even though I died, I wouldn't have lived.

If Only (revised)(cont, cont, cont.)

I woke up early in the morning in the hospital again to Bryce's soft hands caressing mine in his. I rolled onto my side to see him better. For a moment I forgot what he looked like. It was so relieving to see his face again, but not like this. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were still wet from silent tears. I had seen a lot of sad things in this world, but nothing could be compared to this. A heavy tear trickled slowly down my cheek and fell onto his face.

"It's okay." I said stroking his brown curly hair, like I always imagined doing to my children after falling off their bike or being stung by a bee. "It's okay..."

When Bryce woke up I saw in his eyes, so full of emotion, love, fear, sadness, hope. Then the doctor came in. His eyes weren't quite as reassuring. He looked like he had just been woken up from a really good dream. And it must have been one heck of a good dream.

"I have news," he said slowly.

We both stared at him, with sore eyes.

"Well, you have little more than a day to live. You are free to leave the hospital but, there's nothing more we can do. I'm sorry..."

The rest of his words were lost to me. The terrible lingering stench of that thought took over my brain like a parasite. What will happen to Bryce when I go? he didn't move at all, in shock , in pensive distress as I clung to his arm, weeping.

A few hours later we had made it through the worst of our tears. We left the hospital as soon as we could and went to our new house. I explained to Jane what happened in the best way possible: the truth. She handled it pretty well, for the most part, I think. And I explained that I moved in with Bryce in a nice house; she simply heaved a sad sigh and said,"Okay."

We only made it an hour into the night in our new house together until Bryce got up out of bed, came to my side of the bed, kneeled, and asked,

"Evalyn, I wanted to ask you this ever since I met you, Evalyn, will you marry me? I... I don't have a ring or anything but I just... Evalyn, marry me! I... I'm so sorry... I..."

He couldn't say anything more because at that moment I started kissing him. I cradled his face in my hands and said,

"Yes. Yes Bryce, I will! I love you so much!"


***

If Only (revised)(cont,cont.)

After that we went on three more dates, all three at his apartment. We had to tell Jane we were going to some place really safe, just so she wouldn't freak out. I told him about my recent accident and how I never noticed how lonely I was until I found him. We had kissed many times on our dates but this kiss defeated them all. It started like this: Janey went to anothre friend's house (one that I didn't particularily like) leaving me with a butt -- load of emergency numbers. I got a call around ten 'o clock from Bryce. He asked to come pick me up and go to someplace very special. I said it was okay, my curiosity growing like a weed. It was perfect that tonight was the night Jane went to a friend's house.

He got to Jane's house about ten minutes later with a bouquet of dasies (my favorite flower).

"Ready to go?"he asked.

"I'm ready, all this suspense is killing me!"

We got in his car and in the back seat I saw a package wrapped quite nicely in pink, green, and blue tissue paper. Interesting... I thought.

The car stopped by a cute little house with white shutters and flowerboxes in the windows with dasies. The grass was so green, at least it looked like it under the moonlight. A stone pathway lead up to three small steps that connected to a front porch. Wouldn't it be nice to live there? I thought. We parked on the curb, then he got out and asked,

"Are you coming?"

"W...well, yeah... where are we go...?"

Bryce dangled a silver key directly between my eyes, almost making me go cross eyed. I was so happy I couldn't even bring myself to raise my hand to take the key. We walked up to the house hand in hand, opened the door and collapsed on the couch.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." Bryce said.

He brought back a package with pink, green, and blue tissue paper wrapping. I opened the package with excitement. It was a metal wire sculpture of the Eiffel Tower.

He said, "I made it myself. I... knew... you..."

I didn't notice how close we were until I felt his nose touch mine. We looked in each other's eyes and we both knew what was going to happen. Then it happened. Emotoins erupted like fireworks. It felt almost like a dream. The best dream I had ever had; swallowed up in passion and love, the best sort of obsession, a great power amidst an ocean of peace. His lips against mine felt like rose petals. I loved him so much. I never wanted this to end.

Then I felt dizzy, a nauseous sort of dizzy. I cried at the thought of this perfect moment ending. Perfect doesn't exist, not in this world. I sat down slowly and tried just breathing deep, I couldn't even concentrate on that. Something was really wrong. Any little thought at all just sent a pain to my head, like a raging bullet. I couldn't find the stregnth to even sit up; it was like my body forgot how to run itself. I heard the saddest sound you could ever hear, the sound of someone you love so, so much in tears,

"Evalyn... Evalyn?" he said over and over.

I managed to slip the words,"It's okay."

Then darkness overcame me.